This Christmas I find myself swinging. On a pendulum. Back and forth. Satisfied and hungry. At moments grateful and at others so desperate that I don’t recognize myself.
Two minutes ago, I walked downstairs, at 11 pm at night and stuffed a day-old doughnut in my mouth. Was I hungry? No. Do I usually eat doughnuts? No. They were leftover from my four year olds birthday. Doughnuts are a treat around here, the once in a long while kind of treat.
But my heart was yearning. Hungry.
I have a devoted, loving, tender-eyed husband.
I have four gorgeous, talented, and kind children. (Notice I did not say perfect. Because that would be a bold faced lie!)
I have a roof over my head. I have money to spare. I have everything I need and more. I live in this gorgeous setting. I have family close by. I am healthy. I am a wealthy woman.
What's Missing This Christmas?
What is this strange pendulum I swing on?
It’s that I live in this world, but I was made for a different one.
All the health, wealth, relationship, and success in this world will not satisfy the one ache that screams loudest this time of year.
I was made to be in relationship with the trinity who set the stars in the sky, created my every cell, and sings over me this very minute.
And this world does everything and more to pull me from that reality.
The T.V. blares with non-stop noise and false advertising.
The radio is on in my car every time I get in, clogging my ears and my heart.
My friends talk about things that don’t really matter but just add to my noise.
My work tells me if I succeed in this plan or meet that goal, all success will be mine and I will be filled.
My spouse tells me if I wear more Victoria’s Secret and keep a cleaner house, relational bliss will be mine.
The school tells me if I invest every hour of free time into volunteering, I will be a great parent and my children will thrive.
My fitness center tells me this new workout will provide the body I need and then happiness will be mine.
And these things are all lies.
It is good to have relational harmony. It is good to have physical fitness. It is good to support our schools and our children. It is good to be successful at our occupations.
But it is not good to assume all these things will answer the insistent cries of our hearts. The cry for connection.
And not just connection with people, though that is very good.
Because people will inevitably let you down.
Think about it. Have you ever had a relationship that did not in any way disappoint you?
We were created to be in constant harmony with the trinity that created the universe.
God. A Father so good that our version of father cannot accurately give vision to the way we are loved by God. He is waiting to expand that vision with himself.
Jesus Christ. The friend your heart has longed for all your life; someone who knows every detail of you and absolutely, unquestionably adores you even on your very worst day.
The Holy Spirit. A mentor and guide with unsearchable wisdom and a tender and constant nearness.
Finding Hope This Christmas in Bend, Oregon
So this holiday, when you are still for but a moment, and you recognize that great cavernous place in your heart...know you are not crazy. You were meant for a relationship so much bigger than this world can offer that your soul is restless in it’s search.
There is hope.
And he is a person.
There is a place is his heart with your name on it that will never be filled by another. It will feel like home and hope at the same time.
Glance his way. Allow him to show you who he is. You will never be the same.
Someone to Walk With
If you live in Bend, Oregon and would like to talk more about finding hope through Jesus, please let us know. We, at Epikos Church, would love to meet you.
Epikos Community Blog
Welcome to the Epikos Community Blog where you can find and read blog posts from members of Epikos Church in Bend, OR. At Epikos we believe in the value of every member and this is a place for members to share about the work God is doing in their lives.