The thing is: is it me that needs to trust God? Or is God coming to me to see if He can trust me?
This is not so much a theological question I’ve been wrestling with...though it is a theological question.
This is a heart question.
This question came as I was working on a Beth Moore Bible study one day. And I started thinking...
I’ve spent hours thinking about, studying about, and trying to live what it means to trust God. This effects every area of life Big decisions and little decisions. Big ideas and small ideas. To give or not to give. The list could go on and on.
Lately, I’ve been wrestling with a completely different question. Am I trustworthy? My whole life I’ve worked to be a person who can be trusted, a person of integrity who’s word is their bond. As God shows me different areas of my heart, however, I am struck by how much process I still have left to go. What has been vexing me is that I want to be, more than anything else, a person who God can trust with His complete riches. This is not money...though money is a part of this. This is His word, His voice to a generation, His thoughts, HIS HEART, His resources, His wisdom, His discernment, His understanding...and much more.
I want to be one who God can say, “Give her this job...it will be done. Not because she’s a doer...but because she loves me. Out of this love, nothing is held back from me and nothing is left in reserve. She pours it all out. She empties herself so she can be filled by Me. She is trustworthy to steward the inheritance I have for her...so let’s pour in to her. Let’s pour in lavishly. Let’s cause her to flourish. She has learned what it means that I am her source and she walks in that with such grace. Let’s give her so much more. She is my conduit to those I’m trying to reach, she understands my heart, and she is trustworthy. She gives lavishly, so she can receive lavishly. She leaves room for Me to pour in because she has poured out. She empties herself so she can be filled by me. Let’s knock her socks off with her inheritance.”
God longs for those who can steward the riches of His Spirit.
And the cool thing is in this process. I’m (we’re) not left to our own resources even in becoming those God can trusts. Romans 8:26 shows us that the same God who sees right where I am and who is committed to “perfecting that which concerns me” also “intercedes for me (for us) according to God’s will.” That’s incredible! He not only sees the problem and shows us the problem (because we are blind to the problem otherwise) but He is the solution. Amazing!
“And the Father who knows all hearts knows what the Spirit is saying, for the Spirit pleads for us believers in harmony with God’s own will.” Romans 8:26
So, God is praying for me, even though He sees all of my inadequacies, so that I will BE who He has set forth and called me to be. I have an ADVOCATE! And He’s not just any advocate. He’s the Advocate that can get things efficiently through the court system.
I rest in His working ... while I wait on Him in prayer today... to cause my heart and life to be one that He can fully trust with all of His riches. Want to join me?
Shanda Harris is a lover of Jesus, dedicated wife, mother of 6 and the Women's Pastor at Epikos Church in Bend, Oregon.